William the Conqueror

From Frikipedia

Born no fewer than 17 times, William the Conquerer often slept in quite late and missed many of the key battles of his nymphomaniac armies. He enjoys long walks on high castle ramparts, eating endangered species, drinking extravagantly priced French wines and decimating all those not named Norman.

It was rumoured, just for a few minutes in the quiet end of poorly lit pub that William the Conquerer could be bested simply by holding one's breath for 25 consecutive minutes while baking a fresh loaf of creamy orange bread. In a relating rumour, those who bespoke of the aforementioned rumour were mysteriously beheaded on the way home from a poorly lit pub.

In all of his documented lives so far William the Conquerer has been a French Maid, a level 7 Wizard of the Mystical Realm of Virginia, a quality control specialist for a rubber door cock maker, a King of a small band of brigands intent of fornicating with mermaids and a homeless madman no less than 13 times.

His turn offs include not being named Norman, roses, absence of misery, candy and sweetness.