UNBSJ

From Frikipedia

The institute of higher learning in Saint John. Not to be confused with those Fredericton UNB punks.

Known for its remarkable concentration of foreign Geoffs, it is by all accounts barely a blip on the radar of national academic institutions. Fortunately, it features a thriving Tim Hortons and holds many fond memories for a Friki that is disgruntled and dissatisfied with the perils of the modern workforce.

The average male student at UNBSJ spends his day as following:

• 10:00-11:30 - Skip class, buy a coffee and prepare an assignment for your 1:00 class, which you have not even bought the text book for.

• 11:30-1:00 - Lunch break! woohoo. You deserved it

• 12:50-12:55 - Drop off your coffee-stained assignment for the 1:00 class that you fudged at 10:00, then exit the class before the professor arrives.

• 1:00-3:30 - Sit in the cafeteria or Tim Hortons and join whatever game of 45's or asshole is going on. Be sure to oggle and make inauspicious code names for the various Chinese geoffs that buy coffee or study at the tables next to you that they will never understand due to their limited knowledge of the language

• 3:30 - Time to go home after a hard day of education. Tuition dollars have never been spent so well.

Buildings at UNBSJ

• T. J. Condon Student Centre
• Oland Hall
• Hazen Hall
• Ward-Chipman Library
• Ganong Hall
• Irving Hall
• Modern Languages Centre
• G. Forbes Elliot Athletics Centre

The Future of UNBSJ

The incredible foresight and monopolistic corporate dominance of the city of Saint John by the Irving family conglomerate has resulted in a government sponsored working group being tabled to recommend the de-universification of UNBSJ and turning it into a trade school, or polytechnic, to better serve the traditional blue-collar industries that have raped and pillaged the city and its residents for the last half-century. This, they hope, will ensure a source of mindless drones to pay less than the national average and maintain their exploitative competitive advantage as they build a "new" energy hub. This is of course being done through the print media, which is in turned owned by the same said Irving corporate interests, in a streak of anti-intellectualism that would take us back to the 1950's. And all this economic devolution and restriction of educational choice for Greater Saint John's 130,000 residents is of course, being done in the name of "transformational" and "futuristic" change, as the "status quo is not an option".

You have to love capitalism!