The Number 4 Bus
From Frikipedia
Contents |
Overview
A bus route. Presumably there are lots of number 4 bus routes in the world, but London's version runs from the transportation fanwank that is Waterloo station all the way through to the mysterious-sounding Archway in the north of the city. Though after this bus gets past Highbury & Islington, it becomes something much bleaker.
The Problems
The number 4 is the only really workable method when you want to travel from Manor House to Tufnell Park, unless you want to travel all the way into the centre of London on the tube just to come back out again. Sadly, the number 4 bus is also where the literal dregs of society reside.
The passengers on the average number 4 bus consist of seven people. One will be the driver, two will be clearly suffering from a mental disability, a further three will turn out to suffer from a less apparent mental disability, and one will be a scary chav. With a knife.
Occasionally, this number will be "+1 Friki", though mercifully this is a fairly rare occurence.
Although the number 4 bus purports to travel all the way to Archway, this is entirely arbitrary, and the driver can pick any point along his route to suddenly turn the engine off and shoo the confused remaining passengers away to stand in the darkness in one of the many dangerous areas of north London that it passes through. The passengers, if they fail to succumb to the ham-fisted bladework of the chav will simply have to wait for the next one.
The Next One
Ah yes, the next one. On any other public transport service in greater London, "the next one" is usually around two minutes away at any one time. Not so the number 4. Years can pass, while other budding passengers arrive, wait and board their more efficient services, before the next number 4 comes trundling over the horizon to pick up the survivors. Frail passengers die, glaciers retreat up mountains, eons come and go, and still you wait for the chuntering bus.
Time-lapse photography of a number 4 bus stop would probably provide footage of evolution actually happening as time passes. For everyone apart from the chav.
Friki Verdict
'koff. Friki's getting the tube next time.
