The Hotel With No Name

From Frikipedia

Probably a Holness, and actually has a name, but it is so well hidden that you'd be forgiven for not finding it out.

THWNN is a hotel cum sport bar, which has dolled itself up for the World Cup by affixing plastic bowler hats with the St George's Cross on to every available surface. It also contains numerous TV's for the viewing of said World Cup, either live on the BBC or ITV, or through the medium of Andy Gray and his blackboard of mystery on Sky Sports News.

Along with some rather swanky bogs, THWNN only has one member of staff: a kind of crazed Irish man in an Australia top. He has to act as barman, bouncer, chef, waiter and TV remote control for the whole bar. Thus your food may take longer to arrive, due to the fact that he's busy at the bar and can't go and get your soggy Steak and Kidney pie out of the microwave.

Beer of choice is the Brazilian brew of Brahma, and if you ask nicely, 8 bottles of the stuff are delivered to you in an ice filled trough. Which is awesome. Even better is the fact that ordering this "beer in a bucket" option means the barman has to lend you his only bottle opener, forcing him to run back to your table every time someone asks for a glass of wine.

As the night wears on and the Brahma takes hold, however, the Irish man appears to lose the ability to construct sentences, instead communicating via unintelligable mumbles for which "yes" is not an acceptable answer. Whether this breakdown in communication was down to the amount Friki had drunk or the amount he himself had been secretly swigging in the weird secret room he kept disappearing into to change TV channel is unclear, and may require further research.

After a recent visit to THWNN, it became apparent to Friki that hotels are excellent places to meet Geoffs, and if said meeting is successful, a wide selection of bedrooms are available nearby for nookie.