The Falcon

From Frikipedia

Quaint old pub in Nottingham. Was hidden from most people behind larger and nicer pubs around the Canning Circus (not actual circus) area of the city. Because of this, rarely attracted much trade beyond four grizzled regulars, who would all sit at the bar to sip their pints, making access to order any drinks almost impossible.

The building itself was a reverse-tardis, owing to the fact that it looked fairly big from the outside, but inside had the same dimensions as a phone box.

During it's brief time drinking at The Falcon, Friki was welcomed into the locals culture by being allowed to participate in the semi-regular lock-ins, though whether these were official lock-ins, or simply down to the fact that the ageing landlord had lost the capacity to understand time, was never really established.

During a particularly drunken moment of stupidity, perhaps due to a slight sense of guilt that it had been so willingly allowed to be part of the illegality, Friki once put its name down to be part of the Falcon's five-a-side football team, despite Friki's utter lack of any footballing skills. The morning after, and before the hangover had passed, Friki was alarmed to receive a call from the landlord, requesting Friki's presence at an intensive training session that afternoon.

In a display of manly camaraderie, Friki did the right thing. It constructed a convoluted excuse regarding a fictitious old "college injury", possibly using the word "hamstring", and never set foot in the Falcon again, even feigning a limp every time it walked past it, just in case the locals decided to check its story.