Steven Gerrard
From Frikipedia
Steve Gerrard, Gerrard,
He'll pass the ball forty yards,
He's better than Frank Lampard,
Steve Gerrard, Gerrard.
Contents |
Overview
Scouse footballing legend and captain of Liverpool FC.
Oftentimes, due to crapness, dodgy squad rotation policies or general over-confidence, Liverpool look like losing or drawing a game of football. Gerrard will then step in, score a wonder goal or several, and everybody is happy.
Greatest Moments
In both of Liverpool's recent cup wins, the 2005 Champions League and the 2006 FA Cup, the team has found themselves trailing well behind theoretically crapper opposition. Gerrard sorted all that out.
In 2005, with Liverpool 3-0 down to AC Milan at half-time, Gerrard scored once and won a penalty as Liverpool scored three in six minutes to send the game to penalties, which Liverpool duly won.
In 2006, Liverpool were 3-2 down to West Ham with seconds remaining. Despite suffering from exhaustion, cramp and being on the same pitch as Djibril Cisse, Gerrard scored a 30 yard goal of such class, it caused Sky Sports commentator Martin Tyler to suffer a stroke.
2007 hasn't been quite as awesome for Stevie, but he still has a chance for something similar with Liverpool facing the unlikely task of beating Chelsea and then one of AC Milan or Manure to win the Champions League again. Lord knows, we'll need him to.
Worst Moments
Was apparently close to leaving Liverpool for arch (sort of) rivals Chelski after the 2004-05 season. However, traditional Liverpuldian heartfelt support, including sending death threats to his family and various other unseemly things that makes Friki a little ashamed, he decided to stay, and will hopefully see out his career with the Reds. If he knows what's good for him.
Also, despite saving his club from the dreaded choke on many an occasion, he tends to join in with the choking for his country. At the 2006 World Cup he missed a penalty for England in their quarter final against Portugal, thereby becoming only the 654th Englishman to have achieved that feat at a major football tournament.
Released an autobiography after the World Cup, along with most of the rest of the squad, prompting criticism from the increasingly likeable thug, Joey Barton (who described the players by saying "I played like shit. Here's my book").
Gerrard defused the situation when Barton won an England call-up, however, shepherding him into the fold and joking in an interview that he was "off to leave a copy of my book outside Joey's room". Contrast this with reaction of Fatty McShit, who moped around like a spoiled schoolboy being forced to share a car-pool with the kid that just broke his compass, even (allegedly) moving to a different table when Barton sat near him at breakfast (prompting Barton to (allegedly) respond with "Don’t worry, I wasn’t going to nick your breakfast you fat prick!", making Friki love the scally Manc even more).
The Future
Humiliation of Lampard and Chelsea in the Champions League semi-final. Humiliation of Cristiano Ronaldo and Manure in the CL final. Finally accepts Friki's repeated offers to bear his children.
None of that will happen. Sadly.
Friki Links
Martin Tyler's stroke - In fairness, he recovers well. And leaves co-commentator Andy Gray to end up at a point where he's just saying random words, slightly before the clip ends.
