Rugby

The game of rugby has two seperate "codes" of rules. And never the twain shall meet.

Rugby Union - The game for nancy southerners. Union games last for 80 minutes, and generally degenerate into 30 large men jumping on top of each other trying to lay pipe. The actual game is a mere afterthought, created 60 years after the first union game took place in an attempt to excuse people bringing their families to watch an all-male orgy.

Rugby League - The game for rough northerners. When you're tackled in league, you get up and restart the game, rather than lying prone on the ground waiting to be mounted by the opposition from behind. The rules differ from union in the way of there actually being rules. The English game recently tried to "sex up" the league by introducing American sports style gimmicks. These include cheerleaders (usually fat women from Doncaster with bushy moustaches), play offs (nullifying the point of the actual league and reducing the whole thing to a single one off game), and stupid team names (like the Halifax Blue Sox, the Wigan Carpet Fitters and the Bradford Monkey Scrumpers).