Rice Cakes

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Chow down on this instead. Fatty!
Chow down on this instead. Fatty!

If you've bought rice cakes in a bid to find a healthy snack, perhaps because you're a student revising or are at work at a computer and have developed an oral fixation, you've made a colossal mistake. The only way to make rice cakes edible is to smear them with unhealthy foods or dip them in your pint, thus defeating the object.

If you have an oral fixation and don't want to put weight on, Frikipedia suggests taking up smoking.*

Not Rice Cakes, You Fool, Snack a Jacks

The almost good "Snack a Jacks" range of rice cakes come in a variety of savoury and sweet forms, to distance themselves from their plain rice cake bretheran.

Recently, they have launched the "Roast Chicken" flavour. Which taste like feet.

Friki is having a bubbish lunch.








  • *Do not take up smoking. While fun and satisfying in the short term, the constant financial pressure and reduction of your lung capacity to that of an obese asthmatic bull mastiff soon negate any pleasure you might experience. Also, it'll be illegal soon.
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