Prost

From Frikipedia

The ill advised F1 team of former quite good driver, Alain Prost.

History

In 1996, Ligier won the Monaco Grand Prix at the hands of Olivier Panis. and while some pointed out that this was due to the fact that only three cars actually finished, the French celebrated. And Prost got jealous that something French was getting attention that wasn't him.

So, in a fit of pique, he bought Ligier and renamed it Prost. It was only afterwards that he realised this meant he'd actually have to run the team.

Prost leapt into F1 in 1997, like a slightly lame rabbit with one eye. The team achieved fame when Panis crashed and smashed his legs up in Canada, and when Jarno Trulli stayed awake for long enough to lead for a bit in the Austrian Grand Prix. Other than that, Prost managed to get through the whole season without losing a sponsor or accruing massive debts. A situation he began to put right from 1998.

A lacklustre couple of seasons followed, and by the end of 1999, Prost recieved a strongly (though not too strongly) worded letter from Peter Sauber, claiming that Prost were in serious danger of infringing on the Sauber team's averageness. To remedy any concerns, the team went into freefall in the year 2000.

With Sly Stallone and some other guy onboard for 2000, things looked almost goo. The only problem was the cathartically slow Peugeot engines, and the fact that Alesi and Whatshisface kept driving into each other, to try and gain TV coverage for their sponsors. It didn't work, and the team shed sponsors at an impressive rate.

For 2001, Prost made another series of commendably stupid changes. They acquired overpriced Ferrari engines, replaced their good driver with Gaston Mazzacane and spent all winter painting over the bits where the sponsors used to be and stripping anything weighing more than an ounce out of the car, so they could look a bit fast in pre season testing.

Although Murray Walker was fooled into thinking they would be a major force in the coming season, nobody with any money was convinced, and the team eventually had to drop the charade and spent the rest of the season swapping love letters with Minardi staff at the back of the grid.

They achieved some brief fame towards the end of the season, when Mazzacane's replacement Luciano Burti spent a great deal of effort trying to maim himself, but sadly for Prost, he'd already maxed out his Amex.

Prost folded, but the pathetic stories almost didn't stop there, as Phoenix bought some old nosecones from them and tried to enter them into the 2002 season. Rumours that a man running around with the nosecone his hands making "nnneeeaaawww" noises was actually faster than the Prosts could have managed were soon dismissed.

Future

Prost recently planned to enter the OAP Cup, but his hip went and he had to pull out.