Porn

From Frikipedia

Medium of choice for loners and fat men when it comes to getting sexual kicks.

Readily available in Amsterdam, corner shops, on the internet, and occasionally plastered over the walls at house parties.

Also available in hotels, where guests are invited to try and "beat the clock", i.e. polish themselves off on the free preview before they have to put it on the AmEx.

Women tend to find porn either horrifically insulting or massively amusing, usually depending on the number of animals involved.

Frikipedia once bought some really cheap porn from Amsterdam and was horrified that two of the women in it could grow better moustaches than it could.

Friki advice

When in bed with a ladyfriend, never ask her if she is up for "trying something I saw in a porno last night". Even if she goes for it, it is likely to result in some kind of horrible injury requiring stitches. Remember, porn stars are highly trained professionals. Do not try that at home.