Pete Doherty

From Frikipedia

Overview

Emaciated, perma-haggard heroin addict who has proved to kids the world over that drugs are bad m'kay, by allowing his constant and debilitating skag habit to force him to become a rich and famous singer and marry a supermodel. For sham....oh, wait.

The Early Years

Was one half of the semi-successful post-punk set up The Libertines, who condensed a hugely successful decade long run of world dominating musical success into an eighteen month period. In which he helped write one excellent album, started taking drugs, committed a series of offences including breaking into band-mate Carl Barat's house, did some time at Her Majesty's pleasure, helped write a rather bloated second album and finally called it a day in 2005.

The Later Years

Refusing to allow the fact that he is in court every 16 minutes on further drugs offences to hold him back. Released a really rather shambolic album with his new band Babyshambles in 2005, and since then has been gigging almost nightly around the greater London area. And by gigging, Friki means turning up to a venue an hour late, off his face, and slumping unconscious on stage.

Has been sent to rehab no less than 363,792 times, most bizarrely by a help group run by Eastenders' Dot Cotton, who shipped him off to a retreat in Asia for around 25 minutes before he checked himself out and reached for the tinfoil again.

Despite all his problems, has conducted a successful relationship with supermodel and reformed drug addict, Kate Moss. The pair recently got married, so presumably Kate likes them thin, gaunt and riddled with smack.

So that was where Friki went wrong. Should have been more gaunt.