Owen Hargreaves

From Frikipedia

Canadian cum English cum German footballer.

The curious mish-mash of cultures and countries that went into making Owen what he is has resulted in him possessing the most bizarre accent in the history of speech, ending up in him sounding a bit like the bastard lovechild of Michael Schumacher and Alanis Morrissette after attending public school in the Home Counties.

Has been employed by Bayern Munich for the last few seasons, but recently all but signed for Manure for £17 million, disproving the idea that English footballers demand massively inflated price tags compared to their continental equivalents (Friki waits with baited breath for Chelsea to spend £25 million on Micah Richards and Aston Villa to stump up £35 million to secure the services of Darren Eadie). Rather amusingly, news of this transfer emerged a few days after a massive pube toaster campaign was launched, which featured Hargreaves extolling the virtues of Brits taking their holidays in the beautiful setting of Germany.