Nigel Mansell

From Frikipedia

Nigel Mansell, is a moustachioed Brummie Twat who desparately tried to win stuff in Formula One in the 1980's and then the 1990's. He did manage to win the 1992 edition of the series, but his car was far and away superior, the active suspension on the car actually being able to read the minds of dogs, as far away as Jupiter. You could say, he did a Rosberg.

It has to be said, some people believe vehemently that Mansell won in 1992 on merit, but this is most certainly a Holness.

Rumours have it, he is still not quite retired from F1, despite deciding to do so on many occasions. The last time he staged an exit from Grand Prix racing, he gifted the Mockney Twat a go in a McLaren.

CART Champion 1993

It has also been said, that nobody cares about Mansell's win in the Playboy presents the CART championship for drivers either too old, or too shit for F1, powered by Ford/Mercedes/and Nigel Mansell's own sense of self-belief. The people who say this, according to Mansell "know nothing" - this obviously means, they know a hell of a lot, because everything Mansell says, is contradicted by real life events.

• See retirement
• See Mansell predicts Jenson win.