Namco Station
From Frikipedia
A huge construct next to the London Eye on the River Thames. Essentially a massive underground Festival Park, but also an aquarium.
Contents |
Ground Floor
Here you can access a cheery McDonald's for a McFat and Fries. This is also the last point where you can choose to not go to Namco Station, and opt for the better aquarium idea.
Further into the building you hit the outskirts of Namco town. Full of those crappy slidy coin games where you tend to lose upwards of £6 of coinage in one hit, and some blatantly fixed prize games, where you have to complete a fairly difficult task inside 3 seconds to win an XBox.
Also, worringly, you can pay £1 to have a go in an electric chair, after your last supper at Maccy D's.
One Floor Down
This is where it gets scary. The lights dim, a disturbing laser sniper game exists in a corner, allowing chavs to get in some practice of peppering the general public with bullets.
Two floors down
You now enter the bowling alley area, where chavs bring their jailbait girlfriends on dates. Dates that look so fun you can feel the seething potential for domestic violence lightly simmering under the surface.
Three floors down
You have successfully run the gauntlet and have reached nirvana. Here there is a bar to buy overpriced drinks, more bowling if you're that way inclined, proper arcadey racer games for you to drunkenly spill your pint over, and a huge (and stupifyingly expensive) pool hall.
Also hosts the toilets, in which chavs turn the lights off while you siphon the python and nick your wallet.
Friki Update
On a recent visit back to Namco Station, Friki discovered the addition of a dodgems game on the second floor! However, given that Friki was already quite badly plastered when taking its seat in the dodgem, it failed to connect the seatbelt right, resulting in a series of horrendous looking bruises on Friki's lower legs, after they were rammed into the steering column after repeated hefty contact with a dodgem driven by a scary, and far more sober, chav.
Despite the crippling injuries it sustained, Friki can confidently say that drunken dodgems is one of the greatest forms of entertainment known to humanity.
