Moths

From Frikipedia

Moths in America

Sound bloody scary.

Moths in England

Are just plain stupid.

Let Friki tell a story. After a long tiring day of staring blindly at a computer screen, Friki comes home of an evening and enjoys the odd smoke. It isn't allowed to do this, even in its own flat, without contorting itself out the window like some sort of daredevil stunt fag hag. Though presumably Friki should just be happy that it is allowed to light up without firstly being 20 metres away from the building. Far be it from Friki to ever so slightly increase everyone's risk of cancer whilst they wolf down their artery-furring cholesterol-soaked pub food and knock back a series of liver-destroying brain-addling pints before walking home through the smog-covered noxious-exhaust-choked streets. No, Friki should be happy that it is allowed this degrading moment of solace.

And it is, until it hears the faint slapping of a moth brainlessly slamming itself into Friki's lightshade. A moth that has somehow got in through the open window and is now hell bent on spending the rest of its life leaving minute bits of its brain across the ceiling.

Friki leaves it be, until it goes to bed, assuming said idiot moth will give up and go to sleep itself when the light is turned out. Except the stupid thing makes even more noise when the light is turned off, perhaps either too concussed from its earlier efforts or simply wondering where the light went. Because it is stupid.

Hence, Friki can't get to sleep, and its compassionate nature-abiding side is destroyed. Friki has to get out of bed, turn the light back on and spend the next fifteen minutes engaged in a bizarre rite of passage that involves it jumping around its bedroom naked, swinging blindly at the lightshade with a rolled-up newspaper. This will continue for a few more minutes until Friki gets too knackered and falls asleep. Victory for the moth, which flies off to chew small holes around the waistline of each of Friki's favourite tops, before disappearing, never to be seen again.

That is, until, Friki goes for a smoke the following night...

Friki hates moths. They truly are the second most pointless creature after wasps.