Model A

From Frikipedia

The most revolutionary technological discovery since the quartz digital wrist-watch. The Phenoix Foundation for Research has developed time's first travelling machine!

This spacious 7.5ft x 3.4ft time manipulating device allows one to visit Vostok, Russia between 11:07AM-5:17PM Thursday the 17th of March of 1995 or Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada between 3:45AM and 9:19PM of Tuesday, July 24th of 1963.

Standard features on the Model A include a transwired discombobulator drive, MP3, bluetooth and severe paralax.

Should you purchase the sport package, aptly named the Model T, you will also be able to visit The Holy Roman Empire's 19th quadrannual Olympic Games in the year in which it took place. Since there is some general disagreement between the Julian Calendar and the Egyptian calendar, the Model T will use carefully calculated guesstimations to ensure your safe arrival at the games.

The features on the Model T include all those on the Model A with the confortable aditions of a grey Lazy Boy chair, a bar for storing beer or Gentleman Jim and Richard Dean Anderson approved duct tape, paper clips and generic brand 9-volt battery.