Mobile phones

From Frikipedia

Scourge of postmodern living.

Mobile phones are now presented to children at birth, and as soon as they can string a sentence together, they eagerly call their toddler friends to discuss the news in the crib.

In the early days of modern mobile phones, when it first became possible to carry one without an accompanying Sherpa, men would delight in comparing their phones for size, shape and 'features', leading them to be nicknamed 'penises'. As in, "Stop playing with your penis and let's have a proper conversation." or "Put your penis away now, it's dinner time." Men with the most advanced penises are now largely GQ-reading metrosexuals.