Middlesbrough
From Frikipedia
aka "Boro", "Smogs", "Steve McLaren's Charity Case".
Rather irrelevant Premiership football team from the North-East of England. Have an intense local rivalry with Newcastle United, a contest which they usually lose. Apart from in the 2006/07 season, when they somehow managed to finish one spot higher than Newcastle in the final Premiership table, even making up for employing the huge-nostrilled buffoon Gareth Southgate as manager.
Famous Boro People
- Gareth Southgate (Manager)
Before becoming Boro manager, Southgate was most famous for being the bloke that missed a penalty for England against Germany in Euro 96, causing England to be eliminated from another major tournament on penalties, and allowing himself to build a lucrative career as an actor in Pizza Hut adverts. A defender by trade, Southgate has applied his knowledge to the Boro team by forcing them to play the dullest defensive football this side of Bolton Wanderers.
- Mark Viduka (Striker)
Fat Aussie Viduka is a regular in Middlesbrough's starting line up, and can be spotted on match day as the useless lump of lard hanging around near the opposition penalty area pointing at things. Used to be an excellent goalscorer, but was introduced to the art of pie eating by former Boro strike partner Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, and now rivals Frank Lampard in the annual "Fattest Person Ever" awards at Weight Watchers HQ.
- Stewart Downing (Midfielder)
Downing is England boss Steve McLaren's lovechild. At least, this is the only way to explain how the useless makeweight keeps getting in the England squad (and often the starting XI). McLaren, who used to coach Boro before he got the England job, rates Downing immesurably, particularly respecting his ability to lose the ball to the opposition, or the way he delivers pin-point crosses into the top tier of the stand behind the goal.
Trophy Cabinet
1 x League Cup circa 2004.
And thats it. Though they reached the UEFA Cup final in 2006 under McLaren's control, rather pathetically losing 4-0 to Sevilla. Also made the 1990 Zenith Data Systems Cup final, an achievement which is still whispered around the Riverside Stadium crowd with reverence.
