Michael Schumacher

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The rainmaster unashamedly displays his talent in the wet. Double Denim.
The rainmaster unashamedly displays his talent in the wet. Double Denim.

Michael Schumacher is a Formula 1 driver who is very Goo. Schumacher has won everything there is to win in F1, he's done this by maximising his skills in certain key areas:

  • Waiting for other better competitors to die before making his move.
  • Running better drivers, along with Jacques Villeneuve and Damon Hill, off the road.
  • Winning even in a Bubbish car.
  • Driving goo.
  • Creating the Boobens to do his bidding.
  • Being able to push hard and fast in the wet.

Schumacher Nicknames

Being so successful has led to many names being invented for Michael:

  • Das Wunderkind.
  • Schumi.
  • Schu.
  • Chin.
  • Spoonface.
  • That f&*king s&$*head ran me off the f@*&ing road.
  • De Fag! (Friki has learned that this may actually be DVAG, for Deutsche Vermögensberatung, but that makes sense and has no place here)
  • Cheating Kraut B*stard
  • The Parker

Records

So what has That f&*king s&$*head ran me off the f@*&ing road won?

  • Everything.
  • The hatred of all the other racing drivers for being in love with himself and arrogant
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