Dmitry Medvedev

From Frikipedia

Notoriously lazy Russian goaltender. Showed up late and about 30lbs overweight for the 2004 World Junior Hockey Championships in North Dakota, much amusing both North American teams, who promptly skated circles around his most jovial frame.

As of 2005, with his hockey career in shambles, his whereabouts is now largely unknown.

Frikipedia Addendum

It appears he has come out of nowhere (did he even officially retire?) to take on the post of General Chief of the Politburo of Penguins Operations, a post that holds much prestige but undefined powers.

Has not been seen in Pittsburgh however since the announcement due to his commitments in Russia, where he has been the title character in an elaborate puppet show directed by Penguins superstar, head coach MVP, and Chair of the Council of Penguins Commissars, Vladimir Putin.