Match of the Day

From Frikipedia

Once hallowed football highlights programme, superseded in the Sky Sports age by the orgasmic Football First.

Now only worth watching if:

• You're too poor or stupid to own Sky.
• You support no specific side in the Premiership and just want to see all the goals.
• You want to see which manager the BBC have pissed off this week. You can recognise this phenomenon by looking for post-match interviews traditionally conducted by the manager being inexplicably done by the reserve team goalkeeping coach, or the tea lady, or someone. Recent figures show that only three of the twenty top-flight managers still allow themselves to be interviewed by the Beeb, though it has to be said that this is largely down to the standalone phenomenon that is Garth Crooks.