Failed Formula One driver who now commentates races for ITV.
- Thinking up new and exciting ways to describe complex procedures like Formula One Penalties to the average TV viewer.
- Convincing David Coulthard that this is his year.
- Working on his latest scheme to get a free ride in a Formula One car under the guise of "It's my job".
- Associating himself with gomers as a way to make himself look better than he really is. Has found nirvana by hanging out with James Allen and Mark Blundell.
Famous for his pre-race gridwalks on ITV, where he barges his way past the litany of A-list celebrities and mechanics that litter a grid before the cars get started and chases the top drivers around in the vain pursuit of a rather crap interview in broken English.
Once he has failed to locate anyone good, will fall back on staple ITV soundbite merchants Jenson Button and David Coulthard, who will chat aimiably to their part-time manager/PR chief whilst poking those little plastic ear protectors deep into their ear canals. Otherwise, he will end up fawning over a random actor/singer who will go on to display little or no interest or knowledge in F1 to justify their attendance at the race.