Mark Webber

From Frikipedia

Overview

Mark Webber (aka Mr. Fifth Place) is quite possibly the most over rated driver in F1 history. Despite having no real results to back up his hype, he is listed as being one of the new 'young guns' in F1. This despite the fact that he's not really as fast or as talented as Kimi Raikkonen or Fernando Alonso, and at the age of 30, really can't be considered young anymore either.

Career

Mark Webber has never won a championship at any level of racing, and he has done a lot of them. He raced in F3, then managed to flip a Mercedes Le Mans car not once but twice, in an effort to solidify his mediocrity. He couldnt even beat the racing driver-turned-mutant Justin Wilson in a F3000 car, but it was still good enough to get him into the Australian-owned F1 team, Minardi, for 2002.

In his very first race, everybody crashed, so seven people were left in the race. He managed to beat two cars and finish fifth (a recurring theme), though it must be noted that one of the cars he beat was actually his teammate, the pleasant but hopeless Rent-A-Driver Alex Yoong, who really shouldnt count. After doing nothing else all year he somehow managed to find his way into a Jaguar in 2003, perhaps because Ford felt bad for him after the infamous 'baby eaten by dingo' incident.

In his 2 years of duty at Jag, Webber managed, you guessed it, a best finish of, 5th place. He was able to drive circles around the useless Pizza Man, who often took more than 30 minutes to deliver (although Mrs Pizza insists that is untrue). Webber did manage to attract attention to himself in qualifying by fueling the car with only the power of his own self-esteem. This usually got him a place on the grid that was fairly high and seemed impressive, however, in the race, his car tended to need fuel and that slowed him down quite a lot.

Webber moved to the Williams team in 2005, and was quite tidily put in the shade by Ickle, but nobody noticed it. Webber did manage to get a third place at Monaco, but it was totally overshadowed because he was down one step on the podium from his pint-sized team mate.

The Future

In 2006 he is partnered by an up-and-coming youngster, Das German Finnish Kid, and will probably lose to him too. But he will get lots of fifth places along the way.