Labour

From Frikipedia

Started the trend of abandoning their baseline policies when Tony Blair successfully moved the whole left-wing bunch of madmen kicking and screaming into the middle right.

On the one hand, the economy is booming and unemployment is low. But the other hand is a cluster-bomb scarred, religiously riddled amorphous blob of a limb, with militant groups hiding under the fingernails, and a massive neon sign in the middle of the palm which flashes up the message "YOU HELPED INVADE IRAQ, YOU BLOODY MENTALIST!" every five seconds.

Their Policies

• Stick fingers in ears.
• Close eyes.
• Start going "lalalalalalala" loudly.
• Hope that when they stop, Iraq has somehow gone away.

Change of Leader

Recently underwent a shock change of leadership, as Smiley Tony handed the keys to Number 10 over to sour-faced Scot, Gordon Brown, who looks like he's as much fun as swallowing gravel.

The leadership was due to be some sort of contest, but no other Labour MP could be found to stand against Brown, largely due to the fact that Tony had already sort of promised him the job anyway. The apparent "coronation" of a new Prime Minister has caused outrage amongst uninformed voters across the UK, who are under the delusion that when they put that little cross on their voting form they were voting for Blair and not Labour. This is a holness, unless the person who is angered comes from Blair's constituency, the almost worth writing about town of Sedgefield.

Brown now has around two years to try and hurry through all the grand plans for the country he has been wanting to do since 1997, before he loses the next General Election to The People's Dave and has to go home.

Outlook

Change of underwear. Talking very loudly about successful economic reforms as a backbencher tries to get a question in about foreign policy. Possible embarrasment in election.