Kebab
From Frikipedia
"Where's Fido, mum?"
Kebabs fall into the lips and arseholes food group. When sober, there is no more revolting, stomach churning sight than that of a massive kebab skewer slowly rotating, while kebab shop employees scrape the grease off with dirty knives. However, once your alcohol intake crosses 10 units, a kebab becomes more precious than gold.
Kebabs fall into a variety of categories, ranging in grossness.
- Doner - The daddy of kebabs. Thin strips of meat torn off a fetid piece of reconstituted animal carcass, wrapped in stodgy doughy bread and served with brown lettuce and far too much onion. Sould tempting? Go away, drink 6 pints of Stella and then re-read that last sentence. Your mouth will water.
- Shish - The "healthy" option, though that's a cunning misnomer. This time, the meat is cooked on a grill which looks like it hasn't been cleaned since 1987. Same mess of pitta bread, grim looking salad and selection of dodgy sauces follow.
- Chicken - Charred on the outside, but still red in the middle? Salmonellarama!
Some people manage to resist the temptation and manage to order post-pub food less likely to cause internal bleeding, like a burger, or a pizza. Frikipedia salutes these people.
