Juan Pablo Montoya
From Frikipedia
Juan Pablo Montoya is probably the greatest F1 driver who has ever lived. Despite the fact that he has never really won much. But this can usually be blamed on the car, the team, the rules or other lesser drivers driving into him.
Spent his early career being amazing at karting, Formula Vauxhall Junior and Formula 3 before winning the Formula 3000 Championship back in the days before it got bubbish, beating such great drivers as Paolo Ruberti, Brian Smith and Kurt Mollekens. Most of these drivers soon retired from the sport when it became obvious they were never going to come close to Montoya's sheer brilliance.
After being unwisely looked over for an F1 drive for 1999, Montoya did the manly thing and decided to win something else instead. And he did, winning the FedEx Championship Series in America by the crushing gap of zero points over Dario Franchitti. Montoya got the nod for the title after it was pointed out that he had won more races, got more pole positions and also had a far better taste in trousers than Franchitti. Dario cried after realising he was only second best to the mighty Montoya, and eventually slipped away into complete obscurity.
In the 2000 FedEx Series, despite leading the most laps, winning lots of pole positions and also having by far and away the coolest haircut, Montoya failed to win the title. Mainly because his car was bubbish and kept stopping because it was knackered. And Kwik Fit was closed. He did, however, have a go in the Indy 500 "for a laugh" and won by an awfully long way, causing spontaneous celebrations across much of central Africa, who could easily see how amazing he was.
In 2001, he finally got a chance to drive in F1. He quickly proved himself to be the best driver there by qualifying 11th for his first Grand Prix and then retiring, proving once and for all that it isn't cool to qualify in the top 10 or finish a race in Australia. This is a point often missed by other drivers.
In 2001-04 he raced for Williams-BMW, a team that consistently promised much, but ultimatly delivered a shoddy car. So he went to McLaren-Mercedes for 2005, to give him a chance to beat the overrated monosyllabic alcoholic, Kimi Raikkonen. He didn't really end up doing this, although most of the blame here can be ascribed to an injury Montoya picked up whilst playing tennis on a motorbike, through no fault of his own.
So far in F1, he has won 7 GP's. It would have been a lot more, but the car was bubbish.
In 2006, Juan was involved in several incidents where he hit everything he could before the wheels fell off his slow McLaren. He was very successful at this and decided he needed to drive something that took longer for the wheels to depart from the chassis (So he could cause more damage to his competitors and surroundings); so after hitting his teammate and Jenson Button, and pitching some guy who no one noticed on the outside of the corner into a series of rolls at the USGP, JPM decided NASCAR was the series for him and buggered off without telling anyone. This was, if you are a stupid, a "breach of contract".
