Jodie Marsh
From Frikipedia
Rather low-rent version of improbably chested rent-a-slag Jordan. Incase you wondered whether such a thing was possible.
In an empowering stand for feminists worldwide, she is currently running an competition to marry her. Which is a really bizarre sort of online prostitution that Friki isn't really comfortable with.
Nevertheless, as it has got older, Friki has started to think of settling down, and given that Friki exists online, this seemed like a match made in heaven.
Friki's Entry aka "Pick Friki, Jodie!"
Here is an account of Friki's own questionnaire, which it submitted for the slappy-faced one to peruse at her leisure. Frankly, Friki reckons its a winner.
Q1: What do you do for a living and do you enjoy it?
I am a website. Oftentimes I enjoy it, apart from when I'm forced to talk about Blackhorse Road.
Q2: What was your longest previous relationship and why did it finish?
Friki hasn't really had a proper relationship before, though it has been linked to Jakki Degg's page for over a year now, which sort of counts.
Q3: Complete this sentence: I want my relationship with my future wife to be...
Emotionally empty.
Q4: Tell me about the best sex you ever had! Where & when?
Now now, Jodie. Don't be so coarse. Friki doesn't kiss and tell. All Friki can say is that it involved a Googlewhack, four cherry brandies and Friki couldn't type straight for a week.
Q5: Is money important to you?
My Google ads make less than 12p a year for myself. So no, not really.
Q6: What do you like about me? (I know, you haven't even met me yet!)
The fact that despite what people say about you, you've never allowed yourself to cheapen or demean yourself with some awful publicity stunt in a desperate attempt to remain in the public eye.
Q7: Describe a great date you might take me on.
Being a website, Friki can't really go on dates, though with advances in WiFi technology, you could take a laptop with you when you go out and write on me as you go. You could even write something dirty if you wanted. Something like "slurry" or "feculence".
Q8: Do you want children?
Friki already has a child called Fabelbish. Though sadly it has been rather neglected of late. Friki remembers how it promised to give Fabelbish a dictionary facility, a "top 5" list and a new font. All lies, Josie, all lies. So Friki probably isn't cut out for parenthood.
Q9: Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?
Hopefully past 10,000 articles.
Q10: What are your 3 must do things in your life?
Finish the sodding London Underground adventure.
Upgrage to Wiki v2.05.
Marry a plastic mouthed bint off the internet.
Q11: Give 3 qualities that you think are good about you and 3 that are bad.
That's a very subjective, and frankly rather lazy, question.
Q12: Finally, why do you think you and I would make a good couple?
Friki is a form of deranged media fabrication that never quite seems to live up to what it thought it would be. So we should at least have a lot in common.
Friki's Hopes
Friki looks forward to hearing from Jodie in the near future. It is already planning the wedding.
