James Bond

From Frikipedia

British secret agent. Star of (at last count) 329 feature films, of which all but the last two can be found on constant repeat on ITV2.

Recently, the James Bond franchise has been in freefall, owing to a lack of real direction as to who the bemuscled gigolo should actually be fighting since the collapse of the Soviet Union led to the end of the Cold War.

The film makers have attempted to substitute the evil Commies with more Commies, then the media, then a gammy eyed Scotsman and the French, and finally North Korea (actually, that would work, except that film was bubbish and eventually the bad guy became some Englishman who was so painfully stereotyped he should have been given a moustache to twirl).

Jack Bauer is the new James Bond, owing to the fact that he fights terrorists. They're evil and scary, whereas Sophie Marceau in an evening gown is less so. Recently, James Bond has hit back by becoming Jack Bauer, only Jack Bauer in tiny swimming trunks (this was a ploy by Daniel Craig to draw attention away from his face, which looks like it was set on fire and then put out with a hammer).