Jacksons

From Frikipedia

A poor man's Budgens. Jacksons makes the glaring error of not stocking any fudge cake.

The Saga of Hobbly Dave

The Jackson's in Nottingham was home to Hobbly Dave, an atrocious alcoholic.

Although rumour had it that Dave owned a flat in the nearby tower block, most people assumed he was a proper homeless. He was usually found next to the cashpoint outside the shop, asking for some money to buy some more tramp juice. Not as it ever looked like he needed any more.

Hobbly Dave got his name from the hilarious manner in which he walked. Even when sober he had the world's most exaggerated limp, but after a solid days cider drinking he produced a silly walk that would have put John Cleese to shame. It was quite likely that the limp was caused by some horrible form of gout he had picked up from licking the floor where a pissed student had once spilt some vodka, so the mirth Friki took in his attempts to traverse short distances has probably confirmed Friki's place in hell.

Even more hilariously, in 2004 Hobbly Dave found (or possibly stole) a tiny Casio keyboard. He decided to try and increase his chance of some coinage by playing some tunes. Usually consisting of the pre-programmed demo and some bad pretend playing, or just one note pressed repeatedly by a festering finger.

Friki salutes you, Hobbly Dave.