Hell's Kitchen
From Frikipedia
Gordon Ramsay pits a series of enthusiastic but talentless budding chefs against each other, in a tournament to see who can take the most abuse before they break down in tears. The setting for the show is a TV studio set up to look like a restaurant, and filled with C-list celebrities like Tony Slattery and some food critic mate of Gordon's.
See also
Friki Addendum - The New Chef
For the recent new series of Hell's Kitchen, posturing walking erection Ramsey has been replaced by posturing walking fist-fuck Marco Pierre White (played by Gerard Depardieu imitating a stroke victim). A series of Z-list celebrities have been roped in to be shouted at by White as they fail in their daily task of cooking some pretentious dish involving scallops. The budding celebs include Peter Crouch's missus (a sort of walking Scouse meme), some fat bloke who used to be in the semi-successful fat boyband Blue and Jim Davidson, former TV presenter and casual racist.
Despite the name, Marco Pierre White was almost certainly christened Mark Peter White, and rather than being a seductive French charmer who sounds like he spends all his free time giving tender massages to plates of lemon sorbet, turns out to be a cockney weirdo who appears to spend the whole programme inflating his own eyes with a small bicycle pump until it actually looks like they're about to explode all over the shoddily made blackcurrant tarts.
In an attempt to out-masculine Ramsey, White takes the blinkered and bullying "head chef nastiness" to new levels, as he shouts and rants at the celebs, and actually throws anyone who dares complain about the shocking state of the food being produced out of the restaurant. Though he does have a point there, after all, these people have turned up and got a free meal and yet still feel the need to moan because their asparagus is a bit "bland". Of course it is, you galloping twat, it's a fucking piece of asparagus. You get the feeling the moaners turned up to the filming not to sample a menu from an award winning food expert, but rather with the monomaniacal desire to kick up a fuss over absolutely anything to increase the chances of them getting on the edited highlights. Doubtless now they've got the whole thing burned onto their Sky Plus box and are replaying it endlessly whilst gormlessly giggling in self-satisfaction and shovelling fried chicken down their stupid wonky gullets. Twats.
Anyway, the show will run and run down almost endless avenues of folly and scallop-based entrees, and the celebs will get voted off until finally the one that White himself adjudges to have the nicest rack wins, and Mrs Crouch tearfully thanks everyone and gushes about what a wonderful life-affirming experience the whole thing was, and how it wasn't just a fundamentally empty and soulless idea for a TV show designed to fill up the tables at Marco's struggling restaurants for a few more years.
