Heinz-Harald Frentzen
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Contents |
Overview
Slightly above and below average Formula One driver who raced for a decade in the elite category. Probably in DTM now.
Early Years
Heinz-Harald Frentzen started life working as an undertaker for his families funeral director business, when he was still young he was chosen to play the role of Fox Mulder for the pilot of the cult TV Show The X Files. Frentzen soon became tired of the glamour of being an undertaker and sickened with the ghastly world of Hollywood turned his attention to motoracing.
Racing
Frentzen rose through the racing ranks alongside Michael Schumacher, often judged to be the slightly better of the two drivers. Unfortunately, as Schumachers jawline matured he inched ahead of Frentzen, eventually joining the top flight three years before HHF. Heinz eventually snuck into F1 with the Sauber team in 1994, capturing the attentions of Richie Benaud who was at the time searching for all things associated with the Beige Theory.
The commotion at the team a few garages down (but never too far down) from his caught the eye of Frank Williams who signed Heinz into a world championship winning car for the '97 and '98 seasons. Things did not go at all well for HHF at Williams though, and he soon became disenchanted with the team after they didn't laugh at his jokes, all the while forcing him to walk up numerous ramps instead of having stairs like normal teams. Escaping the unruly chaos of Williams, HHF longed for a more formal, properly managed atmosphere and signed a contract at Jordan. Rumours were rife at the time that Frentzen approached McLaren but word is that the shiny team already had a no-name German in the wings and weren't interested.
Riding a wave of confidence that having a washed up teammate brings you, HHF secured a few wins for Jordan in 1999 and had a real chance at winning the title that year after The Chin broke his leg and Mika Hakkinen broke a nail. But, true to form, HHF didn't win the title and Mika stopped crying long enough to collect the trophy.
In 2001 Eddie Jordan wised up and dumped Frentzen before seasons end, Heinz became irritated and took legal action while at the same time signing for Arrows. By this stage Heinz-Haralds career was effectively over as he had an advanced stage of dimentia, highlighted by him signing for Sauber and Prost before slipping into his Cat flap and heading off to DTM.
Legacy
Heinz-Harald Frentzen will be remembered by his fan, and perhaps one or two others as the man who could've been better than Schumacher, who could've won the title, and who could've finally revealed to the world the existance of alien lifeforms on Earth. It will forever be forgotten that he never succeeded in any of these endeavors.
