Five-a-side

From Frikipedia

Form of football, played on a smaller pitch and, obviously, featuring only five players on each side.

Popular with students and old people alike, due to the fact that it requires an awful lot less running around than a standard game of football.

There are some slight rule changes compared to the traditional game, including:

• The ball may not go above shoulder height. This is a slightly odd rule, given that it could allow Peter Crouch free reign of the like Ronnie Corbett could only dream about.
• The offside rule does not exist in five-a-side, allowing the fattest and laziest member of your team to goal-hang like Gary Lineker on Mogadon.
• Usually, even at official five-a-side tournaments, the referee will be the mate of one of the team's captains. This allows one team to inflict as many crippling tackles on the other team as it sees fit without fear of penance, while the other team will find new rules invented to disallow every single one of their goals.
• Matches last for as long a time as the referee has paid for in the pay and display car park around the corner.

Friki famously had an injury blighted spell with The Falcon's five-a-side team, before forming a team of its own back when Friki was a skiving student.

Team Friki (not actual name) lasted six weeks of the season, losing each game by quite a large margin, before everyone got bored of losing and stopped turning up. A similar tactic to one often used by Aston Villa.