Elephant & Castle

From Frikipedia

Elephant & Castle

Frikipedia Rating:

Zero Celtic Cross(es)

Nearby Pub:

Elephant and Castle(pub)

Overview

Oddly named station on the Bakerloo and Northern Lines on the London Underground.

There is no evidence of an elephant or a castle anywhere near the place, apart from a litany of sculptures and pictures of said animal and building dotted around in a desperate attempt to justify the name.

For a place with so many Colombians, the geoff count is disappointingly low. No shortage of cocaine, however.

Things To Do Near Elephant & Castle

Plenty of things, which contain various elemonts of scaryness.

You can buy some illegal goods from the local market, which isn't very scary.

You can go bowling at the bowling alley, which seems to have been built inside a Tescos. This is probably moderatly scary.

You can enjoy a tepid pint of Stella in the grotty beer garden of the aptly-named Elephant and Castle pub. This isn't very scary, but is rather depressing. Alternatively, there is a Wetherspoons a bit further down the road.

In order to enjoy any of these "delights", however, you must first negotiate the subway system that links the hundred sides of a huge roundabout outside the station together. This is the most confusing and convoluted layout of urine-stained, tramp-infested tunnels in the world, and at no point is there any sort of map to follow.

Many travellers have died in these tunnels, having failed to find their way out. Indeed, simply to cross one short stretch of road, Friki found itself having to walk half a mile in the opposite direction underground before repeating the journey back through a slightly different tunnel. This was all very scary.

"I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more..." Incidentally, this took Friki 2 minutes to do, and it apologises for the crap quality.

Friki Verdict

Zero Celtic Crosses. Run away. Run awaaaaaaay!