David Beckham

From Frikipedia

Dim but well-meaning pretty boy footballer.

Married to a butterface and currently lives in Madrid, in a sporting exercise designed to boost sales of Real Madrid shirts in Asia.

Became a hero and pariah in equal measure in 1998, when during a World Cup game against Argentina he did what everyone else wanted to do and kicked a cheating footballer in the leg. Recovered his social status in 2002 in a game against the same team by scoring a penalty and allowing England to pick up one of its most fatuous international victories of all time, before they eventually choked later in the tournament.

Retirement

Beckham announced his retirement in early 2007.

His retirement package totals £128 million over the next 5 years, and merely comes with the caveat that he must play the odd game of football for the LA Galaxy, alongside former US World Cup star Cobi Jones and striking ace Jack Bauer.