Crab Monkey
From Frikipedia
The Crab Monkey (shown right) currently resides in Adelaide, South Australia.
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History
Origin point is currently unknown, possibly England or some swamps in America. Upon heading to Oz sometime in the mid 1990s the Crab Monkeys trail of destruction can be tracked from Darwin, to Nowra, and finally to Adelaide. Within the city itself the Crab Monkey rarely sleeps in the same spot for more than 2 nights at a time, moving it's mobile home from random spot to random spot, most possibly to avoid it's natural predators. That said, the Crab Monkey can often be seen at Adelaide University, Bowling at Cross Road, or jumping on tables and chairs at the Wayville Showgrounds. The Crab Monkey has no understanding of punctuality.
Language
The Crab Monkey has some basic understanding of the English language and will often respond to simple phrases. To express itself to others the CM will usually use a keyboard, hoping it's random bashing of keys will get it's point across. When meeting face to face, the CM will tend to use the art of dance to express it's emotions, often using crab-like manouvers and limb extensions.
Source Of Income
Hard rubbish. Minimises expenses by only asking for free items at McDonalds, hot water, sauce, and cups of ice being it's favourites. Will steal full boxes of cereal from stores if it senses an employee giving it the eye nod.
Quotes
- "werertn tto bedx"
- "Oi, get me a VIP coke!"
- "Fuck that shit" - A phrase commonly used when presented an object requiring the exchange of monies.
