Conservatives

From Frikipedia

Currently the official opposition in the UK political system. Have spent the last few years in the doldrums perfecting their cloning technique using a mad scientist and a strand of Tony Blair's hair.

The net result is David Cameron (once described as having 'a sort of melting face'), a man who has taken Blair's definition of style over substance that he used so successfully back in 1997 and ran with it like Paula Radcliffe in sight of a portaloo. Essentially the process involves hefting your entire party politics into the nice safe middle ground and removing anybody over the age of 40 from your front bench team.

The party was universally hated across the land for being evil, but now thanks to Labour's self destruction, are suddenly being looked back at with rose-tinted spectacles as people coo and say things like "things weren't that bad under them...".

Their Policies

• Smile.
• Wave.
• Erm...
• They want to...
• Something to do with windmills...?
• Um...

Outlook

A win at the next election, following which Cameron rips his face mask off to reveal the mercilessly cackling form of Margaret Thatcher saying "You fools...!! YOU FOOLS!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!" to the cameras infront of Downing Street.

Other Conservatives

In Canada, the Great Spiritual Leader rules his party, and the Liberals alike, with an iron fist.