Cold War

From Frikipedia

<flickr>2600537198|thumb|right|m|Cold War fallout shelter in New York City. Yesterday.</flickr>The dullest war in the history of armed conflict.

For 40 or so years, the USA and the Soviet Union squared off against each other without doing any actual fighting. Games of Risk have featured more actual scenes of violence than the Cold War.

All got wound up in 1990-ish, when the Soviet Union ran out of money and everyone started standing around in the cold queueing for bread, rather than sitting down polishing their nuclear missiles.

Mutually Assured Destruction

It's MAD!

The reason no fighting ever really got done was because both sides were too heavily armed. Rumours that FIFA were planning to introduce a warhead cap limiting all nuclear superpowers to six nukes (of which four had to be home-grown) is a completely pointless attempt at humour.

Because of all the fear about nuclear winter (which was rumoured to feel something like spending a normal winter inside the freezer section at Somerfields with a chain smoker), the two enemies simply wasted their days parading about in front of each other like two overly-oiled participants in a bodybuilding competition.

Major events in the Cold War

• The Cuban Missile Crisis - How crap was this? Friki did it in history at school and learned that the whole big "scary" event was just a series of meetings between men in suits. Thats about as scary as a week's work experience in a bank.
• Vietnam War - The USA plunge themselves into an unwinnable conflict in unfamiliar surroundings under false pretences and slowly get slaughtered. Good job they learned their lesson on that one.
• Glasnost - Russian for Glastonbury.
• Perestroika - The CSKA Moscow right back.

Friki Verdict

Friki awards the Cold War zero Celtic Crosses. Needs more action. Friki does hear that the sequal might blow you away though.