Circle Line

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Slow, rubbish service on the London Underground.

Since the end of 2009 has also become the most misnomeric tube line since the Central Line was briefly renamed the 'Pleasant, Body odour-free Line' in the mid-1990s.


When the Circle Line was a Circle(ish)

The Circle Line. Almost a circle.
The Circle Line. Almost a circle.

Back in the good old days, the Circle Line was so named due to the fact that it was, erm, a circle. Users of the Circle line saw absolutely no irony in the fact that it went round and round without any real defined final destination.

During the glory days of the circley Circle Line, 95% of all passengers on the average train would either be buskers or tramps, due to the fact that they could pay for one ticket at the start of the day, and then remain on the train and annoy people in pursuit of coinage for the rest of the day.

The only real benefit of the old Circle line was that it allowed you to be indecisive.

The Circle Line now

What the fuck?
What the fuck?

From late 2009, the route of the Circle Line was redesigned to confuse and disorientate buskers. The trains now run in a spiral formation through Central London, and navigating your way around the whole circumference of the old circle now requires you to perform the Edgware Road Shuffle, a maneuvere that confuses an estimated 25,000 tourists per month, all of whom end up stuck at Hammersmith wondering where the Eurostar departs from.

Adding to the confusion, Circle Line trains now call at Edgware Road twice on their spirally journey through the city, making life doubly difficult both for tourists and for random sottish wiki sites attempting to figure out how best to fit the station's page in to their otherwise-linear pub crawl route plan.

Nigel Farage's Masterplan

Recently, it was revealed that UKIP's wantonly barmy 2010 election manifesto included a pledge to "return London's Circle line to a circle". This would, presumably, avoid the eventual resolution of having to rename it the Spiral Line. Alas, in early 2014, Nigel Farage disowned the entire UKIP 2010 election manifesto, leaving the Circle Line in a state of misnomeric turmoil.

ECUC Rating

The Circle Line achieves a truly revolting ECUC of 80%.

Stations on the Circle Line

Other Circle Lines

There is also a bus route in Adelaide called Circle Line. It goes in a giant circle around the outskirts of the city. It's really more of a rectangle. Regardless, the bus fails to pull over and let anyone on or off and just continues to speed around oblivious to its designated role in society. If one finds oneself on the Circle Line bus then Friki advises you jump when you near the corner of Cross and Portrush roads. There's a park there for a nice soft landing, a vet clinic nearby in case you miss the park and a church is right on the corner in case you land on your head and have all the sense knocked out of you.

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