Chuck Norris

From Frikipedia

He doesn't need to read books, he just gives this stare till they give him the information he needs

The coolest and most bad-ass man on the planet. Do not mess with Chuck Norris unless you want a roundhouse kick to the face.

Is the only person in the universe allowed to wear Double Denim and live.

The opposite of bubbish.

Indisputable Facts about Chuck Norris

• Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
• If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
• Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
• There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
• Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
• Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down, by pointing his finger at it and yelling "Bang!"
• Chuck Norris invented the entire color spectrum. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
• What goes through the minds of all Chuck' victims before they die? His shoe.
• Chuck Norris played Russian roulette with a full loaded gun and won.
• Chuck Norris does not think he has had sex with a woman if she survives.

Chuck Norris Kryptonite

While nobody in existence can beat Chuck Norris, he does have one arch rival who can neutralize his powers.

In 1986, Chuck Norris and Richard Dean Anderson decided to have a battle to settle once and for all who was the most powerful man in the universe. The fight went on for 73 days until they called a reluctant truce. The power of Norris's roundhouse kicks were a complete match for Anderson's cunning wit and resourcefulness in the face of extreme danger. The two try to stay as far apart as possible as their awesome powers create a resistant resonant frequency that turns the brains of normies into mush. They do have a mutual understanding and respect and keep in contact from time to time. They also share a deep connection regarding the works of great animal surgeon Jeremiah Jones.