Christijan Albers
From Frikipedia
Contents |
Overview
Christijan Albers is an immensly rich man, who helps out struggling F1 teams by giving them lots of cash, in return for them providing him with a car to crash into Armco barriers. When he isn't busy doing that, he likes to confuse people by randomly changing the location of the letter "j" in his name.
Career Highlights to date
At some point ages ago, Albers won lots of races in the DTM, before it became the bloated, crash-riddled irrelevance it is today. For some reason, Paul Stoddart decided that an ability to drive massive stupid-looking German saloon cars was just what was needed to drive his crappy Minardis and signed Albers up. The sponsors had little say in the matter.
Albers got fed up with Minardi, so moved to the woefully short-lived Midland F1 effort, leaving Minardi to descend into penniless sell-offs after he left them with a sponsor vacuum. With Spyker buying Midland, they greedily kept Albers for his personality, and he partnered the awesome Adrian Sutil in 2007.
Anticipated Future
Whoever ends up buying Spyker will doubtless want some sponsors. Albers will be kept on. These two incidents will be unconnected.
Controversial Real Future
As of 10th July 2007, everyone's favourite human advert Albers has been controversially sacked by the Spyker team, after one from his litany of sponsors lost the invoice form and forgot to pay the team. With Albers failing to keep rigorous accounts of each and every sponsor, he got confused as to which one hadn't paid and the team had to let him go.
His future will now revolve around trying to tidy up his accounts and lobbying Dave Richards for a drive in the new-for-2008 Prodrive F1 team, before losing out to whoever Mercedes want and returning to a career of irrelevant German infighting in the DTM.
