Bryan McCabe

From Frikipedia

According to nhl.com, Bryan McCabe is a defenseman for the Florida Panthers. While Friki would not agree to this statement, it will admit that he (or it) occupies a lineup spot where a defenseman would normally play.

In the 2005-06 season, McCabe hit the jackpot by scoring a large number of power play goals with the Toronto Maple Leafs. Never mind that referees were calling a record number of penalties that year - which made the bullet shot of McCabe a much greater asset than his extremely slow-footed defensive play - and his performance was deemed worthy of a lucrative 5-year, eleventy million dollar contract from Maple Leafs 'soon-to-be-fired-for-gross-incompetence' management team.

Post-contract, he has underwhelmed Leafs Nation by standing still while the other team's players maneuver around him, on the way to a straight shot (or six) on Leafs' worse than sketchy goaltender, Andrew Raycroft. To further complicate things, the rest of the league figured out that all they needed to do to shut down the Leafs' power play was to check McCabe almost exclusively. No matter how open his D partner, Tomas Kaberle was for a shot, he would invariably attempt to pass back directly to McCabe, who would be covered by at least two opposition players. The continual defensive blunders and turnovers makes leaf fans wonder why their team wasn't committing over 15% of their total salary cap space to an orange traffic pilon instead.

With the rebuilding phase fully underway in Toronto, he - along with his his large bags of money - was dealt to Florida before the start of the season in exchange for a roll of hockey tape, a button, and a dog-eared Pro-Set hockey card of Benoit Hogue.