Brett Hull

From Frikipedia

Guilty of high treason, Brett Hull is one of the most wanted men in Canada, by law enforcement and hockey fans alike. His toxic smile and arrogant personality made him a perfect fit South of the Border, and this was especially convenient for him once he discovered that he was too shitty to make the Canadian national team.

It is believed that he once ate a steaming pile of feline fecees after losing a high stakes game of Go Fish to the great co-defector, Sir Mandrake Wilknotikov while on the road for a game in Chicago. It was either eat this cat shit or make love to my beautifully beloved Wyfe. Having some knowledge about her background, he rudely declined any carnal cahoots. Part of him died that day, in fact, he didn't even feel like a man. It upset him so much, that he ended up retiring from the game he loved in 2005. But goddamn people, he was one of hockey's greatest goalscorers!