Boat Race

From Frikipedia

"It was I who farted as we passed Putney Bridge!"

Annual "sporting" "event" held on the River Thames, once they've finished dredging it for whales.

A bunch of Oxford students take a similarly redeemless lot from Cambridge in a race to see who can row quicker for a bit down a short stretch of the river. Gets top billing on TV despite being the single dullest form of sport since the Winter Olympics.

In the distant past, was probably hilariously contested by spotty Physics geeks and fat Engineering goons, but the two universities now ship in Olympic specialists on the pretence of them studying for a Btec in Leisure and Tourism in order to win the race.

Once someone wins, everyone goes to the riverside pubs for a refreshing Pimm's and a spot of sodomy.