Big Brother
From Frikipedia
Originally planned as a serious psychological experiment into the human condition. Now a desperate yearly attempt by Channel 4 to get chavs to have sex on national television.
A successful Big Brother house should contain any 12 housemates from the following list:
- A mockney twat.
- A hot blonde liable to spend 90% of her screen time sunbathing topless in the garden.
- A crazy Scotsman with a temper as short as his inadequate genitalia.
- A lesbian with a penchant for turning straight girls.
- A gay man employed to sit on the sofa and make unsolicited remarks about other housemates.
- A radical and terminally confused feminist.
- A weird geek who enjoys washing up.
- A larger than life pre-op transsexual.
- A dull as fuck Northerner who never does anything.
- Someone foreign who speaks with a baffling accent.
- A frumpy chav girl desperate to be a famous singer.
- A bloke from the civil service escaping to the house for tax reasons.
- A conniving middle class gentleman who has a "big plan" to manipulate everybody.
- A student who is just doing it "for a laugh" until it dawns on him he actually might win.
- A scary old lady who needs the prize money because her benefits have dried up.
- A junkie who has just come out of rehab.
- A divorcee who bares a grudge against anything with a penis, who ends up forming a close bond with the pre-op.
- A believer in the dark arts who gets everyone to take part in a seance on the first night.
- A woman with huge breasts.
- Someone who has never watched the programme before who thinks it is going to be a serious psychological experiment into the human condition.
There is also the infinitely superior Celebrity Big Brother, where former child stars and disgraced former celebs humiliate themselves for our viewing pleasure.
