Bernard Matthews

From Frikipedia

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Possibly fictional head of the world's largest ham corporation.

Not to be confused with Bernard Manning.

The Matthews Mystery

• Fact: Ham is, first and foremost, a pig-based product.
• Fact: Bernard Matthews farms only turkeys.
• Fact: Bernard Matthews produces ham. From turkeys.

The Bird Flu Crisis

Bernard Matthews was forced to make an unprecedented public appearance following accusations that his "turkey" farms in Hungary had sent "turkeys" to his "farm" in "Norfolk" carrying the H5N1 strain of bird flu. Bernard was forced to incinerate all of his "turkeys" in order to prevent further spread of bird flu.

During the UK Government's investigations into the incident, it was revealed that Bernard's farms were infested with rats and thoroughly unhygenic, and not at all what you would expect of a producer of economy meat products. Bebby.