Arsenal FC
From Frikipedia
Football club from North London. Actually the nearest football club to where Friki now lives, ensuring that it's journey home from work on nights when Arsenal are at home is a hellish voyage into what life would be like if there were more cockney Arsenal fans in the world than there were particles of oxygen.
Contents |
History
Were once known as the most redoubtably boring football team in the country, with the iconic "1-0 to the Ars-en-al" chant ringing out around Highbury every Saturday, as the team coasted towards another dullard win.
More recently though, French paedo-faced manager Arsene Wenger has instilled new found flair and continental skill into the team, to the detriment of any club-footed English clogger that made it through the youth ranks, who must immediately be sold in order for Wenger to buy more 14 year old French kids.
Won a couple of Premiership titles a few years back, including one year when they went a whole season unbeaten. This kind of thing rather sadly made the whole team get big-headed. Indeed the season after, when they faced Manure in a game that, if they avoided defeat, would be their 50th unbeaten game in a row, the players wore "50 not out" t-shirts under their kits as a pre-planned celebration for after the game. Rather predictably, they promptly lost.
More recently, many of their star players have retired (Dennis Bergkamp) or become money-grabbing scumbags (Cashley Cole), and the team has entered a period of "rebuilding". Though there has been no date set for when they will actually be "rebuilt".
Until then, it is up to Arsenal fans to compete with Liverpool fans every year to see who can come up with the best excuse for miserably failing to mount a title challenge. This season, they stuck with the effect their new stadium (the shiny new corporate beacon that is the Emirates Stadium) had on the player's form (though a home record of played 19 won 12 drew 6 lost 1 is actually rather good, and their dubious away form, played 19 won 7 drew 5 lost 7, is actually what cost them). This, coupled with injuries to key players such as Terry Henry and Pobin van Rersie, is what they are sticking to.
The other main issue with Arsenal's drop of form (other than the phenomenon that is Alexander Hleb) has been other team's refusal to allow them to play sexy football. By simply defending deep, limiting Arsenal to hopeful long shots, and hitting them on the break, Wenger's sexy football has been nullified in favour of 1980's style hoofing tactics. A shame for neutral football fans, an outright disgrace for Wenger and Arsenal, who lobbied the FA in January to try and force a rule that any team facing Arsenal is only allowed to have 6 players behind the ball at any one time.
Despite all their problems, Friki was still shocked to see that a host of Arsenal players failed to make the FA's team of the year, with the likes of Johan Djourou, Armand Traore and Denilson all passed over in favour of players from other clubs. It's all political.
The Future
The "rebuilding" process which the team has been going through for the last 2 years is expected to end around 2016, putting this rebuilding work on a par with Metronet's attempts to get the London Underground sorted in time for the 2012 Olympics.
Friki Fact
One of only two football league clubs in England not named after an actual place (were formerly known as Woolwich Arsenal because they used to be the team of the local gun making factories), along with Stoke City's main "rivals", Port Vale.
This is despite the fact that there is a tube stop on the Piccadilly Line called Arsenal. Though ironically, this is far from the nearest stop to the stadium.
Friki Quotes
- "Sometimes, winning all the time is really boring" - What one of Friki's Arsenal supporing mates gloriously moaned a few years ago. The team's almost laughable inability to win anything since then is a massive slab of karma for the comment.
