Anfield Rap
From Frikipedia
Probably the greatest song ever. If you are a gomer. Mostly sung by people with no understanding of bubbish and sarcasm.
Lyric Breakdown
Liverpool F.C. is hard as hell
United, Tottenham, Arsenal
Watch my lips, and I will spell
cause they don't just play, but they can rap aswell
- Rapped by a random. Strong opening, apart from the last line, which doesn't scan at all.
Walk on... walk on... with hope... in your heart... and you'll ne... ver walk... alone
- The tagline of the song. The famous Liverpool chant done in stacatto rap. An error, Friki feels.
Alright Aldo
sound as a pound
I'm cushty la but there's nothing down
The rest of the lads ain't got it sussed
We'll have to learn 'em to talk like us
- Ian Rush and John Aldridge. Self depricating as ever.
Well I'm rapping now, I'm rapping for fun
I'm your goalie, the number one
You can take the mick, don't call me a clown
Any more lip and you're going down
- The legendary Bruce Grobbelaar, proving that bald Zimbabwean goalkeepers probably don't make great rap artists.
Alright Ace, we're great me and you
But the other lads don't talk like we do
No they don't talk like we do, do they do la
We'll have to learn 'em to talk propah
- Rush and Aldridge again. Forcibly rhyming 'la' with 'proper'. Genius.
Walk on... walk on... with hope... in your heart... and you'll ne... ver walk... alone
- That bit doesn't get any better. But the song is about to hit a seminal moment.
You two scousers are always yapping
I'm gonna show you some serious rapping
I come from Jamaica, my name is John Barn-es
When I do my thing the crowd go bananas
- Possibly the best rhyming couplet ever, right there. John Barnes is a legend.
How's he doing the Jamaica rap?
He's from just south of the Watford Gap
He gives us stick about the north/south divide
cause they got the jobs
Yeah, but we got the side
- Rush and Aldridge again, though Friki would argue that whatever Barnes was doing was not a Jamaican rap.
Well I came to England looking for fame
So come on Kenny man, give us a game
cause I'm sat on the bench paying my dues with the blues
I'm very big down under, but my wife disagrees
- Craig Johnston, the Aussie super sub of the side, making cock jokes. And somehow rhyming 'blues' with 'disagrees'(?).
They've won the league, bigger stars than Dallas
They got more silver than Buckingham Palace
No-one knows quite what to expect
When the red machine's in full effect
Well Steve McMahon sure can rap
It's about time he had an England cap
So come on Bobby Robson, he's the man
cause if anyone can, Macca can
Macca-can... Macca-can... Macca-can... Macca-can...
- This was possibly the nadir of the song. ITV commentator Brian Moore not only rapping, but then being mixed at the end. What were they thinking? Plus it doesn't make any sense, given that Steve McMahon is about the only player left who hasn't actually rapped.
Liverpool F.C. is hard as hell
- Just incase you'd forgotton.
We're Ireland lads
Och-ai the noo
And there's four of us
And only two of you
So if you want nai trouble
And you don't want a slap
You'd better teach us the Anfield rap
- Um...
Don't forget us paddies
And me the Great Dane
And I'm from London mate so watch your game
Well you two scousers, you're always squarking
But we'll just let our feet do the talking
- The song has now fully descended into self denigrating racist slander.
Our lads have come from all over the place
They talk dead funny, but they play dead great
Well now we've gotta learn 'em to talk real cool
The song you've gotta learn if you're Liverpool
- At this point you begin to wonder when Rush and Aldridge decided to become parodies of themselves.
Walk on... walk on... with hope... in your heart... and you'll ne... ver walk... alone
- After the last verse, this now tends to sound better.
You'll never walk alone
- Amen.
Ho-ho my word
That's unbelievable, it really is
I think they should stick to playing football. Terrible
What do you think Kenny?
Oh yeah!
- More from Mr Moore. And a random cameo from some really deep voiced man claiming to be Kenny Dalglish. Surreal.
