All Day Breakfast
Excellent pub food.
Enables you to combine your hangover clearup meal with your first pint of the new day with ease.
For a successful All Day Breakfast, the following items are essential:
- Bacon - The more rashers and the swankier the smoking process the better. Sadly, most London greasy spoon cafes tend to serve bacon which is actually more fat than meat.
- Sausages - Range in size, but its what you do with it that counts. Ideally should be a swanky pork and herby variety, but usually looks like it just fell out the end of a dog.
- Fried eggs - In order for the breakfast to meet Friki standards, the yolk must remain runny, without looking like a sickly mass of E.Coli.
- Baked Beans - Because farting is funny.
Once you have these foundations, there are a litany of other heart disease friendly, fried in a barrel of Satan's own sweat extras that you can experiment with in order to properly fill you up. With calories.
- Black pudding - Controversial blood and fat thing. The addition of this depends on how brave you are feeling.
- Fried bread - Yes, my naive friends. Fried. Bread. As if there wasn't enough fat already there to swell your waistline into oblivion, you can (and Friki sometimes does) get even a simple mop-up-your-runny-egg slice of bread fried for your pleasure. Most dieticians recommend no more than one slice of fried bread per lifetime.
- Toast - For the healthy fat lover. More sturdy than simple bread for mopping up purposes at the end of the meal.
- Hash Browns - If done well, a delightful potato ensemble to balance out the meat portion of your meal. If done badly (by Wetherspoons or McDonalds) they are small constructs so impervious to the force of a knife, it is possible to construct body armour from them.
- Chips - For Friki, a big nono. No chips on the all dayer, even if it is teatime.
- Tomatoes - Sometimes half a tomato, grilled, sometimes a whole tin of tomatoes, spat in. Utterly pointless tip of the hat to your 5-a-day needs.
- Burgers - Uncommon, unless the purveyor of the breakfast is going for a "biggest ever breakfast" award. Burgers are cheaper than bacon, so the cafe owner can make his meal look huge for less.
The largest All Day Breakfasts on the planet are dispensed at the Hungry Hungry Hippo in Stoke-On-Trent, where brightly-coloured customers sit in a circle and take turns to lunge at sausages and fried mushrooms, before having their stomachs pumped and starting again.