Adelaide
From Frikipedia
Contents |
Overview
City in the southern part of South Australia, which is located at the southern edge of The Great Southern Land. Founded in 1836, current population 1 million.
Design
The Central Business District is designed to be square, each edge being 1 mile long. Ringing the CBD to the slightly less south, south east, south south and south west are parklands about 500m wide. They were designed as a physcial and psychological barrier between the business and surburban areas of the city. Unfortunately, the architect of this grand idea, Colonel Light, did not think far enough ahead. People may have been decent in his time but from the 1970s onward the parklands have become home to 5 types of people; pedophiles, aboriginals, the dead, under-10 soccer teams on Saturday mornings and consequently, more pedophiles.
Thus, if one wishes to enter or leave the CBD by anything other than helicopter there is a 93.2% chance you'll be raped, robbed, killed, raped again, or passed the ball. In the likely event of such a merking, you will most likely contract Adelaids.
The last census recorded that 64.2% of the population of Adelaide was made up of fictional former characters of Neighbours including Madge, Jim and Bouncer.
Beaches
Glenelg is the main beach in Adelaide, there is some brown sand and a jetty. People from out of town jump off the jetty and become quadriplegics. The water is not deep.
There are no waves at Glenelg. One time the States newspaper, The Advertiser, ran a front page article about how they saw a wave come in to the beach; they do funny things on April 1st at the 'Tiser.
Events
Adelaide once hosted the Australian Formula One Grand Prix, but Melbourne stole it. Now the city must make do with the Clipsal 500, during which the migration of 300,000 bogans from their backyards to the city center congests every roadway, footpath and parking space in the state. During the Clipsal, if you want to be on time for work you must leave your home 29 business days beforehand, otherwise you WILL be late.
Nightlife
Adelaide nightlife consists of possums, and the occasional rat named Rodney (now deceased).
