2007 Turkish Grand Prix
From Frikipedia
So then, little bit late this one. But never mind, there'll be something to blame. The weather has been lovely, and Friki rates it's tan ahead of it's need to get pithy F1 race reviews written up on time, for example. Or Friki could just blame the press somehow. If it's good enough for Tyler, it's good enough for Friki.
Yes, while the off-track action on the run up to the Turkish Grand Prix continued to revolve around a common theme (namely Fernando Alonso moaning), Hamilton himself was busily continuing his headlong plunge into diva-dom. His latest moan was regarding media intrusions into his London life, and he revealed he may leave the UK for pastures new in an attempt to escape the hellish lens of the paparazzi. Now, far be it from Friki to stick up for the gutter press, but you can't really have it both ways, your royal hypocriticalness.
To offer some depth of evidence to that made-up word, Friki didn't really watch the pre-race foreplay on ITV, as it was busy watching something more informative and professional, like an ADD toddler scrawling on a wall with a crayon. However, when it did occasionally flick over, every time, every time, EVERY TIME it did so, there was an interview with Lewis taking place. And not the same one, there was "interview at home", "interview in garage", "interview in motorhome", and when Martin Brundle did his gridwalk, you guessed it, there was "interview on grid", just incase Lewis had come up with another pearl of wisdom in the intervening 7 minutes since he last had an ITV-monogrammed microphone shoved into his face.
So Lewis simply needs to learn to take the rough with the acres of smooth. For every shopping trip to Harrods disrupted by an overly pushy photographer working on commission, there is the endless deification from Messers Rider, Blunders, Allen and Brundle. For every van parked across the road when he gets the milk in of a morning, there's the British media's endless efforts to write disparging stories of Alonso's evil scheming to try and steal the title from Hamilton. For every minor incovenience, there's a whole slew of clever media uses that Team Hamilton have exploited to the full. From what Friki can tell, he's got an awful lot more to be thankful for than to be pouting about.
But then, he had more important things to worry about at Istanbul. For starters, Ferrari were utterly dominant, leaving the McLarens trailing in their wake. And to top the whole thing off, a puncture left Hamilton behind Alonso as well. So, things for the media to decry before Italy include Italy itself and Bridgestone. Yippee.
Race Result
1 Felipe Massa Ferrari 58 Laps in 1:26:42.161
2 Kimi Raikkonen Ferrari +2.200
3 Fernando Alonso McLaren-Mercedes +26.100
4 Nick Heidfeld BMW Sauber +39.600
5 Lewis Hamilton McLaren-Mercedes +45.000
6 Heikki Kovalainen Renault +46.100
7 Nico Rosberg Williams-Toyota +55.700
8 Robert Kubica BMW Sauber +56.700
9 Giancarlo Fisichella Renault +59.400
10 David Coulthard Red Bull-Renault +1:11.000
11 Alex Wurz Williams-Toyota +1:19.600
12 Ralf Schumacher Toyota +1 Lap
13 Jenson Button Honda +1 Lap
14 Anthony Davidson Super Aguri-Honda +1 Lap
DNS Tonio Liuzzi Toro Rosso-Ferrari Didn't turn up
16 Jarno Trulli Toyota +1 Lap
17 Boobens Honda +1 Lap
18 Takuma Sato Super Aguri-Honda +1 Lap
DNS Sebastian Vettel Toro Rosso-Ferrari Didn't turn up
20 Admiral Yamamoto Spyker-Ferrari +2 Laps
?? Adrian Sutil Spyker-Ferrari Who knows?
Ret Mark Webber Red Bull-Renault Bull shit
Friki Review
Felipe Massa has had an odd season. For every crushingly dominant drive like here, there's a subdued crawl to 13th like in Hungary. The net result means that he is pretty much neck and neck with occasional car-breaker Kimi Raikkonen, but some way behind the McLaren pair. If he continues driving like this mind, he won't be behind come the end of the season.
As for Kimi, he was close to Massa throughout the weekend, but not quite close enough. He set down a marker by setting a pointless fastest lap right at the end (these cars won't break themselves, after all), but he slips from a point ahead to a point behind Massa with five races to go. No team orders yet, according to Ferrari oligarchs, and only the cynical would claim that may have something to do with their expensive Finnish aquisition still being behind their tasty Brazilian makeweight. Friki wouldn't dream of hinting that though.
Elsewhere, Alonso was having a dreary race. He has more often than not been the most unimpressive of the "big four" this year, but once again benefitted from Tyler's exploding tyre to pick up an undeserved podium. Many people have attempted to argue that Alonso was lucky to win his titles in 2005 and 2006. Lies, really, but a similar argument if he were to win this year would have a soupcon of truth to it at the very least.
Ickle scored the BMW place, after Bignose faded badly, allowing NICO (woo!) and the steadily (if unspectacularly) improving Forehead to finish ahead of him. He is certainly driving his way to a race seat for 2008, at the same time as Giancarlo Fisichella appears to be driving his way towards a DTM drive. Honda were gash once again, and Anthony Davidson impressed in qualifying only to fade in the race.
It was dull, frankly. Which was a shame, because Istanbul is a cracking little circuit. Doubtless we'll have another round of moaning about Tilke or modern cars, but really it's just one of those things. If Tyler had managed to hold second off the dirty side of the grid we may have had a great battle, but once Kimi breezed past into second, the race was over. There weren't even any retirements to talk about, apart from nobody being sure what happened to Rookie of the Year, Adrian Sutil. Fair enough, Mark Webber retired, but as a GP event, that is as exciting and unexpected as discovering that all the cars are equipped with tyres.
Well, except for Hamilton's, obviously.
Friki's Unanswered Questions
- Was this ever a worthwhile feature?
Unofficial Friki F1 Race Points in association with Celtic Crosses
1 Heikki Kovalainen 5 Celtic Crosses (Promising.)
2 Nico Rosberg 4 Celtic Crosses (SAVE! SAVE! SAVE!)
3 Felipe Massa 3 Celtic Crosses (Saw off his paymaster.)
4 Anthony Davidson 2 Celtic Crosses (Goo qualifying.)
5 Bridgestone 1 Celtic Cross (Keeping the title race close.)
6 Adrian Sutil 1/2 a Celtic Cross (For maybe not retiring.)
Unofficial Friki F1 Championship Standings in association with Celtic Crosses
=1 David Coulthard 13 Celtic Crosses
=1 Ickle 13 Celtic Crosses
3 Nico Rosberg 10 1/2 Celtic Crosses
=4 Lewis Hamilton 10 Celtic Crosses
=4 Heikki Kovalainen 10 Celtic Crosses
=4 Adrian Sutil 10 Celtic Crosses
=7 Fernando Alonso 9 Celtic Crosses
=7 Giancarlo Fisichella 9 Celtic Crosses
=7 Felipe Massa 9 Celtic Crosses
=7 Takuma Sato 9 Celtic Crosses
11 Jarno Trulli 8 Celtic Crosses
12 Mark Webber 7 1/2 Celtic Crosses
13 Alexander Wurz 7 Celtic Crosses
14 Robert Kubica 6 Celtic Crosses
=15 Jenson Button 5 Celtic Crosses
=15 Kimi Raikkonen 5 Celtic Crosses
=15 Scooch 5 Celtic Crosses
=15 Jamie Murray 5 Celtic Crosses
=15 The Stewards 5 Celtic Crosses
=20 McLaren 4 Celtic Crosses
=20 Jelena Jankovic 4 Celtic Crosses
=20 Ralf Schumacher 4 Celtic Crosses
=23 Markus Winkelhock 3 Celtic Crosses
=23 Boobens 3 Celtic Crosses
=25 Anthony Davidson 2 Celtic Crosses
=25 Safety Car man 2 Celtic Crosses
=27 Bridgestone 1 Celtic Cross
=27 Adrian Newey 1 Celtic Cross
=27 Scott Speed 1 Celtic Cross
=27 STR 1 Celtic Cross
=31 Brighton 1/2 a Celtic Cross
=31 Canada 1/2 a Celtic Cross
=31 Ferrari 1/2 a Celtic Cross
=31 The Goo 1/2 a Celtic Cross
=31 Tom Varndell 1/2 a Celtic Cross
=31 Admiral Yamamoto 1/2 a Celtic Cross
=37 GNER -5 Celtic Crosses
=37 Rain -5 Celtic Crosses
Review
So then, the Unofficial Friki F1 Championship in association with Celtic Crosses is boiling up like an out-of-control power surge at a kettle testing warehouse. Ickle and DC still lead the way, but Massa, Rosberg and Kovalainen all close up on them. With 25 celtic crosses still available, mind, anyone can still mathematically win.
The BRAND NEW Official Topical Friki Post-Grand Prix Comic Bit!
TBA. Never trust an Aussie to get stuff done on time.
